I got to thinking about the ages of my children the other day. My daughter will be 9 and my son 7, both in November. Yeah sure, they fight, they argue, they hit and punch and don’t always do what I tell them but I think they might’ve reached a time in their life where everything seems ‘content’, for everyone concerned. Bit like middle aged for us grown ups.
They are both obsessed with Lego and Star Wars and that is helping a lot so they play continuously for hours. Their laughter is infectious and the only time I see them is for food. I’m able to have nice conversations with them about whatever. They seem to be more aware of the world and what is going on around them. They are definitely more concerned for the environment and other people in general. Things like “Cars”, “My Little Pony” and other toys/cartoons are all a bit too ‘babyish’ for them now and they’re starting to watch more movies with actual people in them.
I wonder if this is the age bracket for children when they’re ‘middle aged’? Previously, they were toddlers, pre-schoolers and then starting school. All such new experiences for them, learning every day. Now, they are at a point where they’ve achieved those milestones, still learning stuff every day but processing it and dealing with it.
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The next stage, of course, is puberty. I’ve had a couple pressing questions of late like what does ‘sex’ mean and answered it satisfactorily (I think). They still giggle when they speak of Leia and Han Solo’s relationship on Star Wars and when they kiss. All very innocent stuff. I get a little nervous when I think of puberty and all of those years to come.
Everyone told me right from the start when they were born that it gets easier. I think I might’ve reached that point, albeit temporarily. I think I’m going to stop reading blogs and the internet where everyone talks about these sullen teenagers that just grunt and I’ll try and take each day at a time. I feel like I’ve got a good relationship with the kids but I know it won’t be easy. I never thought I’d get through those sleepless nights, the toilet training, the moving onto solids, the terrible twos/threes/fours, first day of school etc etc. We’re somehow all still standing and I think the kids have done well to get where they are. Me too.
Love it. I enjoying that with 2, but have wild card 3 still bringing on the tough stuff!
You know what Anne? I'm loving the teenage years with Miss Mac, we have the odd sullen moment but we have lots of laughs too. Big D hits 30 next year, is that middle aged? Does that make me old?? You know what – I don't think I care too much 🙂 xx
Goodness Anne I think at the age four Master V might think he is middle aged as far as kids go. He keeps saying mum you remember in the old days when used to do x,y,z. Honestly I just laugh and say to him, mate how old are you, you're talking like an old man. Yep I talk him just like that if had people laughs me enquire to me "do you just talk to your kids like people". Um yeah I do, I don't put on voices and use cutesy words. I think that's partly why my kids are so conversely with and witty.
You sound as though you have done and are doing the most wonderful job Anne. For them to be so content at those ages to playing with one another and approaching you about the beginnings of those puberty type questions, I'd say your in the right track. I agree ignore blogs and whatever else that speaks of sullen teens etc, sure they'll go through their moments. But the mot important thing is to always be consistent and no matter what let them know that your there and you can talk.
Oh this sounds like such a good place for you & the kids! It's so nice to be able to take a step back & see how far you've come sometimes I reckon! I still in the midst of the toddler tantrums & dealing a feisty 3 year old, but I try to step away where I can & look with more clarity on where we're at. It makes me feel pretty impressed when I do – my kids are awesome! I can't begin to imagine being a mum to teenagers – like you I try not to get too involved in it & just enjoy the now (most days anyway)! 🙂
This is the age to get those children overseas. Take them to museums, live concerts, art galleries and festivals, both here and in other countries. Go camping so they learn about the real environment not some fake classroom experience. Talk about political motives and aspirations so that the News is meaningful. Surround your children with loving involvement and the terrible teenage years will never happen, but the fabulous years will. Yes, this is speaking from experience. Yes, two children of my own. And fourteen teenage foreign exchange students, although usually two at a time. Guidance from caring parents makes all the difference and the key is to start early.
I spoke to a behavioural clinic when my daughter was 2.5. Because all I could see in her was my 16 yr old self.. and they told me that although it gets easier.. it gets harder as the decisions you make for them are the ones that will shape who they are..
So my mum was right in a way.. having a girl was payback for the hard times I gave her!
I've been thinking that with my kids lately Anne – it's such a nice age they're all at. My husband and I were just saying the other day that it's so nice to go somewhere without lugging all the extra bits along (nappy bags etc), and that we can enjoy the kids' company because conversations are deeper, jokes are funnier etc. I'm not too phased by the teenage years – I'm sure it will be hard (I know what I was like for my parents!), but I'm sure we'll survive 🙂
I think you are spot on about the 'middle age for kids' theory. We have a mixed house of 15, 13, 7 and 5 so are all over the place, but miss 7 did surprise me this morning when she got up and had a shower all by herself. Didn't ask and didn't need me. She came out clean, dressed, hair washed and brushed. Just like that. Middle aged.
It's definitely an easier time in some respects, but harder in others I think. I kind of look forward to the teenage years to be honest, when we can be on more equal footing
Anne, I think all ages have difficult times, just different. I'm a little scared about the teenage years, but hope having good communication will help. I make Bell promise me that she'll always want to spend time with me, and bless her she always says "of course mummy!". I hope she remembers that x
There are some moody moments and a lot of food consumed but as far as the teen years go I have to say not as painful as I feared 🙂
Thanks for the glimmer of hope Anne – LOVE THIS – everyone tells me it will get better, and I know it will, but nice to hear from someone I know, kind of!
Enjoy these amazing years and I look forward to them – one day.
Until then I will embrace my toddlers xxx Em
It is nice when they become a bit more off hand isnt it. I think up until the age of 7ish, kids are exhausting, after that age it feels like less running around after them. The teenage years can be difficult though as they yearn to become independant, I just worry they will make to wrong decisions xxx
Hi Anne – your kids are definately at a gorgeous age. I loved that age range – still lots of cuddles, easier to reason with, great conversations, still think mum is the best! Don't be afraid of the teenage years. They roll around and you just naturally ease into it. Mine were not much trouble through those years (youngest is 18). You set the foundations – manners, values etc – when they are little and then hope they stand them in good stead during adolescence and adulthood. 🙂 Min xo
I was just thinking similar thoughts the other day Anne! My kids are 9 and almost 7 and pretty much out of the "little kid" stuff (although they won't tell their friends they still like some of their old toys and TV shows!), but not yet in the pre-teen stuff. It's a nice age as a parent… they're more independent and can enjoy more of the things we enjoy (and I'm not subjected to preschool TV shows anymore!). I love that term "middle aged". Thanks for putting into words what I've been thinking about 🙂
Hilda
I'm both looking forward to, and wanting to stall as much as possible, middle-age childhood and beyond! I guess it's like any age, there are bound to be both trying times and fantastic rewards. I think you'll be just fine Anne, you seem to have a lovely relationship with your kids!
I'm sorry I have nothing to add because I can't remember when K was that young and having only one child means I have no idea about sibling rivalry or anything that involved two children !!
All I can say is that life goes on – things happen – it may not get easier but it is different – sometimes the problems they had as littlies were so much easier to deal with than those of older children but I don't want to scare you !!! Just think of it as being different !
Have a great day !
Me
What a beautiful post, Anne! It is true that it does get easier. It's so fun to see them grow into "themselves". Don't be afraid of puberty….it will just be another amazing chapter in your family's life! 🙂