Let me just start by admitting, I have had OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) most of my adult life. I’m not sure where it came from. Mum was pretty organised and very good at homemaking but not obsessive. Things were always in their place (unless my sisters or I moved it and didn’t put it back) but my parent’s house always felt like ‘home’. We felt comfortable in it. We didn’t have to worry about knocking valuables off furniture because they were always put inside a display cabinet. There were rules like no feet on lounges and that sort of thing but definitely no signs of OCD.
It wasn’t until I went to live on my own that I felt so in control, I could put whatever wherever. “Wow”, I thought, this is great. And if I can’t find it, I only have myself to blame because I didn’t put it back in it’s right place. Back in those days, all I had to worry about was work, partying hard, cooking and cleaning for myself so it was easy to keep house and keep everything perfect.
The easiest way I found to get over my OCD tendencies was to have children. I didn’t have a choice then. In fact, I had a visit from a social worker every other week to help me get over trying to keep a perfect house while looking after a new baby. Hey, how could this be so hard? I was always super organised. A baby isn’t going to make any difference, right? Hell no! Oh how did my world come crumbling down. I soon had to turn a blind eye to things that I could no longer control. Time, tiredness, the demands from a newborn and being on my own most of the time were huge factors. Some days I even forgot to eat let alone shower or change clothes.
Fast forward two years later and there’s a second newborn in the house with a two year old. Forget it! I just learnt very
quickly to prioritise what were the most important jobs to do and I concentrated on them. By then, I’d learnt how to feed myself again and remembered personal hygiene habits but I let floors go unwashed, light fittings uncleaned, curtains unwashed, behind the sofas not vacuumed and only every so often, the shower would get a good clean.
The point I’m trying to make is, those two children of mine got my attention 100% of the time. Their basic needs (and mine and those of my then husband) were being met and everyone was content.
Homemaking I believe is contentment. It’s health, safety and security. It’s having yours and your family’s basic needs being met. That’s really all that is necessary.
So my number 1 rule for perfect homemaking is:
“IF IT DOESN’T GET DONE,
IT DOESN’T MATTER.”
I was browsing through some old photos of the children the other day when they were babies and I wasn’t looking at the state of the carpet or how many toys were strewn all over the floor. I was looking at their cheerful little chubby faces and I feel content in knowing I did the best job I could as a mother and homemaker.
The same rule applies today, even though my children are now aged 11 and 9. I have my routines. I have my washing days and days for other chores. But things always come up. I get sick, they get sick, there are unexpected appointments or things on at school. Do I fret and worry that I didn’t get the dishes done? No. Do I worry about the overflowing laundry basket of washing waiting to be folded? No. I concentrate on the priorities and that is the health, contentment and basic needs of myself and my family. Everything else will still be waiting for you when you’re ready.
[Tweet “# 1 rule for perfect homemaking, “if it doesn’t get done, it doesn’t matter.””]
I hope you can apply this rule in your home and go easy on yourself. You and your family are worth it.
Love this Anne!
Thank you Belinda. It’s saved my sanity over the years on more than one occasion. (Secretly the OCD kicks in but the kid’s welfare always overrules in the end.)
Anne xx
Great 1st rule! Linda@Wetcreek Blog
Thanks heaps Linda!
Anne xx
I’m much the same. My OCD tendencies since having children have relaxed. Although they tend to go into overdrive when my mother in law is visiting from interstate. LOL
LOL I know what you mean Raychael. My ex-mother in law even went as far as buying me the type of dish cloths she uses and my OCD went haywire. LOL
Anne xx
I feel like that exactly, before kids I had the perfect home, down to the centimeter of where the frame should be positioned on the shelf…lol! Now my house looks like a hurricaine came through most days. And that’s ok! As long as my blog is in order! 😉
LOL Mary. I hear ya! I see that centimetre and I start to get twitching and then a fight between my kids usually starts up so I forget about it. I’ll get back to repositioning the picture frame when they leave home! LOL I’m so happy we met each other. We seem to have so much in common.
Anne xx
This was a lovely and loving post Anne. So true that when I looked at the photos of the children all I saw was the beautiful faces. I think we all have OCD tendencies to one degree or another and I know I am still learning about what to accept about myself and get on with life! Happy New Year. Denyse xx
That is the best rule ever!! I think I should live by in now 🙂
You should come link up at our Bloggers Spotlight party on Thursday, we pin everything to our group board and have two separate link-ups, one for posts and one devoted to pins so you get even more exposure!
http://www.raisingfairiesandknights.com/category/bloggers-spotlight/
Thanks Hil! I reckon it’s pretty good too. It’s how I justify a messy house sometimes! lol
I’ll be sure to visit your party.
Anne xx
Such a great post! 🙂
Thanks for joining Cooking and Crafting with J & J!
Thank you Jess!
Anne xx
I only have one, and he just turned three, but luckily I learned early on that the mess can wait. Now that he’s getting older it’s getting easier to include him in the cleaning activities, so that has been nice. I’ll be excited to get my entire house back in order one day, but maybe that’s just a pipe dream?
I think only once they leave home will sanity be restored in our homes Iris. LOL Thanks for stopping by.
Anne xx