Everything’s urgent and important, right? I don’t need to tell you what it’s like when you have children and they’re all talking to you at once while you’ve got your head in fridge trying to clean it out, trying to remember what to add to the shopping list or even if you’re sitting on the toilet. It’s a juggling act that’s for sure. Even if you don’t have children or you work full time, there’s always something needs doing in the home. Let me help you by explaining 4 simple ways to prioritise your work load at home.
You come first
This is something I have neglected for the last 13 years since my first child was born. I always put my children first and still do, to a certain degree. That’s my role as their mother. But, if you’re running on empty and have a full to do list in the home, it’s going to be hard to find that time for yourself.
To really focus on yourself, whether that’s finding time to meditate, or even just think, doing your hair and makeup, reading a book or watching your program on TV, you have to schedule that time in.
I only know too well what it’s like. You get prepared to do that activity and something will come up. I can’t remember the amount of times I’m just about to get started on something and I’ll get a phone call from the school saying one of my children is sick or they’ve left their lunch at home (and yep, there’s the lunchbox sitting on the counter top). That’s okay. You do that more urgent job first and reschedule that time for yourself.
Finding the time to reschedule
Get up first thing in the morning that little bit earlier if you need to. As soon as the kids have gone to school, do your thing. Put yourself high on your priorities. Make sure you schedule the time, don’t go over that time and get onto the next thing on your list.
Of course we all have those days that everything has gone topsy turvy especially with really young ones. If you can, reach out to another family member or friend to help, if you can. (I didn’t have that luxury but as my children are older and can look after themselves, I can finally find the time by telling them “Mum’s just going to do xyz – I’ll be about 15 minutes” and they’re pretty good to leave me alone.
If there’s no other way you can find the time that day, try again tomorrow. Sometimes it’s just one of those things. Hopefully over time and with a lot of practice, you’ll find that right time of day that suits you to find the time to do the things that matter and are important to you.
Family comes next
If you’re a parent or even if you aren’t, the other family members you live with in your home come a very close second to you. As chief homemaker or ‘domestic goddess‘ of your home, you’re in charge and need to manage your home life. If you’re in charge of buying the groceries, you need to make sure you have enough food for the whole household. You need to plan what food needs to be bought for the week. You need to make sure there is enough money for the rent/mortgage and you need to make sure there are clean, fitting and appropriate clothes for the family to wear. Remember food, clothing, shelter?
Food, clothing and shelter are the necessities or basics of life for us humans. You need to have this area of your home sorted as a priority. Their emotional and psychological well being comes a very close second. As teachers of life, we as a parent are responsible for teaching our children the difference between right and wrong. We have to get them through difficult times they might be having at school. We need to teach them manners and need to show them unconditional love, through good times and bad.
While we’re doing this, we also need to make sure we’re looking after our partners in the same way. It can be hard to find time for your partner when the role of a mother is so demanding but if you don’t, the relationship could have problems. I know, some days, my husband and I can be ships passing in the night. He’s at work or on weekends, he’s busy doing his thing but at the end of the day, we always go to bed together. We laugh, we joke, we talk about our day. We say “goodnight”, “I love you” and it’s the part of the day that I look forward to the most. I think in our 4 years of being together, we’ve not done that a few times, due to him working away and I really notice it.
Find time for your partner with regular date nights or morning coffee routines. Find time with your children with regular bedtime story reading or playing a board game. As your children become more independent, they’ll find things to do that don’t need your involvement. Remember to listen to their stories. Listen to the long winded, drawn out description of every Pokemon character or the complete chronological time line of Alexander Hamilton’s life. If you don’t listen when your children speak to you about the mundane things, they’re not going to want to talk to you when the big issues arise. Always find time for your family.
Create routines
This is a no brainer for me and it’s something that I’ve found the easiest in my home life. (The hardest for me is finding time to prioritise time for me but I’m working on that.)
You need to create routines or daily habits. To get you started on this new way of thinking, write a list. Write a list of the daily chores you need to complete to get your home into a reasonably tidy and clean state. For example (the household chores are highlighted in red).
6:00am – Wake, coffee, breakfast
7:00am – Get children up for school, make lunches, make bed, have shower, wipe down shower and vanity
7:30am – Wash the breakfast dishes, sweep the floor and wipe down dining table
8:00am – Head off to work (whether that’s working at home or away) or do a chore on your “to do” list, eg clean the fridge.
10:00am – Have morning tea. Take time to do something for yourself.
10:30am – Return to work or start to prep dinner, eg chop vegetables, throw your meal into the slow cooker, crumb the chicken or marinate the meat. Do another chore on your “to do” list if you’re at home.
12:00pm – Have lunch. Read a magazine, watch TV or go for a walk.
1:00pm – Return to work or do another chore on your “to do” list. Prepare afternoon tea for your children.
3:00pm – Children return home from school. Eat afternoon tea with them, hear about their day, supervise homework and find a quick chore to do on your “to do” list.
5:00pm – Start to cook dinner, call the children for baths or get them to help with dinner.
6:00pm – Dinner is served, family members help with clearing the table and/or washing the dishes. Wipe down kitchen counter tops and splash backs, fridge, stove and microwave.
9:00pm – Do a quick pick up of anything on the floor and/or moving things like shoes, mail, or anything else that isn’t in it’s correct place. Get family members to prepare for the next day. Write in your diary/planner what you’re going to be trying to accomplish for the next day.
10:00pm – Go to bed, relax. Pat yourself on the back for doing a great job that day and sleep well.
If there are certain days you do certain chores, factor them in on that day. For example, I wash every Wednesday and Saturday, religiously. Of course things pop up and it may not get done on that day but that’s what I aim for. On those days I don’t like to schedule in too many other chores because my priority is getting that washing folded and packed away on the same day to avoid having baskets of clean clothes sitting there (and don’t worry – that’s happened a lot). I’ve just made this simple rule for myself that the washing must get folded and packed away on the same day or the consequence is just that. Baskets of clean clothes family members have to sift through to find things to wear.)
Everyone’s days are different. Throw a new baby into the mix and it can be very unpredicatable but if you develop regular routines, they will become second nature.
Prioritising your to do list
As I mentioned in my post about how writing it down will organise your home life, you should be writing every thought that comes into your head into a notebook or notepad. From that ‘brain dump’, you will then write what needs doing, including time for yourself, in your diary/planner.
Any chores that need doing need to be written on your ‘to do’ list. But how do you prioritise them? They’re all as important as each other. It’s an easy 5 step process when it comes to priorities. Apply these 5 basic principles to everything you put on your to do list for the day.
# 1: Identify if it’s important AND urgent
Things like paying the bills, buying food and doing the laundry (remember food, clothing and shelter) are all pretty important and urgent.
# 2: Start with the worst jobs first
Thomas Jefferson once said “never put off till tomorrow what you can do today”. He was right. We all hate those thankless or dirty jobs. You know the ones I mean. Get them done and out of the way first. You’ll feel so much better once they’re done.
# 3: How long will it take
Estimate how long the task will take you to complete. There’s no point starting the fridge clean right before you start preparing dinner. Jobs that are likely to take you a bit longer, should be started early in the day and done until completion.
Even if it is a job like decluttering your linen closet. Break it down into one shelf at a time. If you did just one shelf every day, you’ll have the whole lot done in no time at all. Also, this way, you’ll be sure that you finish that one task in it’s entirety. And I mean, throw out, donate or sell what’s no longer required. If you declutter your linen closet and leave it in a pile on the floor beside the linen closet, it’s only half the job done. Make sure if you’re donating to put it in your car straight away and remember to drop it off next time you go past the thrift store. Same with listing items for sale, throwing away or recycling. Make old towels into other useful items for your home. Add that project to your to do list.
# 4: Be flexible and kind to yourself
Remember what I said about what happens when the school rings saying one of the children are sick? You stop what you’re doing and pick them up. Things like this will undoubtedly happen. No matter what. Be flexible and reschedule that task at a time that is convenient and be kind to yourself that sometimes things just don’t get done. You don’t have to justify your actions or lack of actions to anyone.
# 5: Tick it off once completed
If your job is on your ‘to do’ list make sure to tick it off once it’s done. There’s something quite satisfying about seeing those chores being ticked off. You’ve really accomplished what you’ve set out to do and you’re making a real difference to keeping on top of things in your home.
Remember, it doesn’t all have to be done TODAY. This is one of the biggest things I’ve learnt since becoming a mother. You and your family come first. Your house doesn’t have to look like a show home. If you create routines as you go about your day, cleaning as you go, picking up things that shouldn’t be where they are, your home is going to be reasonably clean and tidy.
This is your home, your rules and your responsibility. You keep house the way you want to. Don’t feel pressured to have it look like anyone else’s. Treat your home life like a business. You want it to thrive and be efficient. But remember, it’s up to you to make changes to the way your house is kept if you want to improve your home life. Write it down, prioritise and do.
